As a Certified Life and Relationship Coach since 2003, I have helped a wide variety of clients: From women who are looking to advance in their careers, men who are wanting to create more work/life balance, and to teenagers who are learning how to set school and life goals. The one thing that they all have in common is dealing with Negative Energy. So, where does it come from? How does this happen? And most importantly how do we get rid of it?
Negative energy is part of the human condition. We are biologically predisposed to send and receive negative energy. Ever notice how it is easier to focus on and remember the bad instead of the good? You know what I am talking about, we could be having a decent day and one person can look at us sideways and then we are looking sideways. Well, here is some good news: Feeling negative energy is a habit. If it’s only a habit, that means we have the power to stop it. Breaking the habit of feeling, giving off, and accepting negative energy from others takes work and time. But trust me, it can be done. I am proof of it. I was the type of person that allowed others to affect my attitude and behavior. The techniques below are the same ones that I used to break that habit.
Negative energy begins with our attitude. If we have a negative attitude, then we look at the world in a negative way. Our reactions to situations, to our co-workers, our family, friends, even the random stranger can feed into our negative energy. We unwillingly take on someone else’s attitude, we allow others to determine our attitude, and our attitude can change on a dime as if we are not in control of how we feel. Being aware of our attitude and what we are putting out into the world is very important. This the habit that we actually need to break: changing our attitude from negative to positive.
Here’s how you get started:
Before you begin, do an attitude check. Keep in mind if we are feeling negative or closed off, the negative energy cannot be cleared. Make a concerted effort to look at your life/day/ moment positively. One recommendation that coaches/therapists recommend is a gratitude journal. This can be helpful, taking time out of your day to write down what you are grateful for is a wonderful reminder that there is always good to focus on. However, it is not always effective in removing the negative energy fully. I recommend what I call “active meditation.” You do not need previous meditation experience and you do not need to be dressed in exercise gear to do it. Active meditation can be done anytime of the day, as many times as you need it.
Find a place where you feel comfortable (when the weather is nice I like to be outside). Plant your feet in a relaxed pose. Close your eyes. Put your arms at your side. Take a deep breath in through your nose as you bring your arms up your sides and up and over your head. Stretch them out as high as they can go. As you breathe out through your mouth, allow your arms to slowly fall back at your sides. Repeat this stretching until you feel relaxed. Next, take a deep breath in. This time, instead of bringing your arms up and over your head, bring them to shoulder length and bring them out-stretched together in front of you. Palms touching. Exhale.
Imagine your center, inside your body. Where is it? What does it look like? What color is it? Focus on it. Most often you will find your center right below your ribs. Imagine it being like a friend inside of yourself, someone who is always there, offering support and guidance. It can appear in any shape, circle, square, triangle, even a blob. It helps with your focus to identify the location, the shape, the color and even the weight of your center. There are times when clients have seen bright light shining from their center, it can morph and change shapes as well. This is a sign of progress. When we imagine our center it draws our focus to something we can control, just like our attitude. It is a point of control and power. Negative feelings/energy make us feel like something else is in control of us. We are looking to build your confidence in that you do have control. If not you, than who?
Bring your arms into your chest (palms still touching), outstretch them, and then drop them to your sides. As you are performing this motion, imagine you are bringing positive energy towards you. With each movement you are bringing in positive energy. Now that you have pulled positive energy toward you, it is time to get rid of the negative energy! While continuing your breathing, in through the nose and out through the mouth, bring your arms up over your head, and down slowly to shoulder length. Then bring your arms to the center with your palms touching.
Bring your arms with your palms touching to your chest. Imagine you are grabbing negative energy in your palms. Bring your arms out in front of you with your palms closed. Once they are outstretched pull them apart to shoulder length and then slowly drop them at your sides. This will look like you are doing the breast stroke out of the water. As you do this motion, imagine that you are clearing negative energy. You are pulling it out and letting it leave your body. It may feel like your are pulling tension away, stress, I have even had clients imagine that it is black smoke out. Keep focus on your center. Keep slowly breathing in, hold for 5-10 seconds, and release.
There is no time limit for active meditation. It can be done as much as you would like, as many times a day that you would like. Focusing on your center is a great way to get in touch with your body. I often hear from my clients who do active meditation that they begin to hear messages from their brain, such as, random words: be, do, imagine, focus, you rock, you got this, etc. It helps focus positively on the day. This positive focus takes place of negative energy. To take this process a step further, write down the messages you have heard when you are finished.
As time goes on and you continue active meditation, have some fun with it, listen to your body and add steps, change up foot placement, different arm movements, whatever feels right… open up your creative side. Good luck! Get active! Go meditate!
To learn more about Doren Weinstein, CLC and Life and Relationship Coaching check out her website at: www.life-matters-coaching.com. You can also sign up for a free, no-strings session!